We Can Work it Out

Today’s post will be a bit short. Sorry. Today’s been an absolutely draining day, and I only just got home after having to go wait in line for an hour to pick up my hormones for the month.

Love

Love is weird.

I don’t mean in the typical pop song way. I mean more widely. What’s love, anyways? We use the word to describe what we feel towards family, or close friends, or partners, but I can tell you those are all very different feelings. Except… also not? Like I said, weird.

On one hand, the affection and protectiveness I feel for my little brother is not anything like the admiration I feel for my best friend, and how excited I feel learning more about her, even after all this time being friends. However, thinking of both of them brings a similar smile to my face, and I’ve found I feel the same about their flaws. That is, I couldn’t care less about them. Sure, I can see in what ways they’re not perfect, but it just doesn’t annoy me in the slightest. At times, I’ve even found myself feeling closer to someone after learning about those things. It’s like, I can acknowledge that it’s not a great thing about them, but I still love them more for it somehow.

Beyond that, I’ve found love, particularly romantic love, to be such an iffy term. I hear people talking about what REAL love is and what it isn’t, but… who gets to choose what the word ‘love’ means, really? It’s somewhat like describing the colour blue to another person. It’s an old philosophical idea to illustrate how impossible it is to know for sure what it’s like to be someone else.

Coming Out

I remember being at a friend’s birthday party about three or four years ago, when I saw some facebook post about National Coming Out day in the US. I felt a familiar weight of hopelesness weigh down my heart and make the rest of the day feel like slow torture.
It felt incredibly cruel for the world to rub in the fact that some people got to be themselves, and actually had a chance at happiness, while I had to live a miserable existence in which no one knew who I was.

When I left for home that night, I felt as if I didn’t have a future, and life would always be awful.
Things have changed quite a bit since then.

Attitude

You know how in cheesy chick flicks there’s a moment where the female lead gets a makeover, and goes from geeky and cute to gorgeous, and then she walks into a room and *gasp*, everyone goes silent as they stare at her?

I’m not saying I’m pretty much the female lead in a chick flick, so gorgeous she silences everyone in any room she walks into, but I’m totally the female lead in a chick flick, so gorgeous she silences everyone in any room she walks into.

Or something.

I started thinking about this earlier today when I headed to the bathroom and heard the two cleaning ladies inside stop talking the second they saw me. I was in the stall when I heard soft whispering and then one tell the other “just… this bathroom is for LADIES.”

What would you do in that situation?