Would you like to hear someone’s voice turn from deep and masculine to feminine?

This is something I published in a facebook group I’m in. Most of you are also from the group but plenty aren’t, so I’m sharing it here, since it’s pretty interesting.

So my gender therapist messaged me earlier in the week and asked if I still had the number for my old voice therapist, since she wanted to recommend him to a new client of hers.

I looked him up in my old email account, and while getting his info, I stumbled on some old recordings of my voice. And oh my god, it’s so terrible. I don’t know how I ever thought it sounded anything but horrible. Which makes me feel a little anxious, as I might look back at my current voice in a few years and feel the same way.

I thought it might be slightly amusing and of interest to hear what that old voice sounded like, and how it’s changed over the last couple of years. Continue reading


Dealing with Rejection

Yesterday I went to a nerdy convention we have in my country each year. It’s a ton of fun to be around people geeking out about everything, seeing kickass cosplay, and buying random nerdy gewgaws. Quick aside, how cool is it that ‘gewgaw’ was a word I already knew and didn’t have to find in a synonym dictionary? Oh, not that cool or interesting? Nevermind, sorry.

Anyways. I’ve been going to this con every year for the past five years except for last year, since I was too overwhelmed with the stress and loneliness of coming out. It was a pretty tough year, honestly. I mean sure, I felt happier than I ever had before, but my life pre-transition had set the bar for happiness very, very near the ground. It really didn’t take much to improve on it. Continue reading


I feel like half of my posts on this blog are the sort of thing stoned 14-year olds talk about when they want to sound deep. Still, apparently a bunch of people are into reading that, so here’s another post along those lines.

I received a message today from a member of the facebook group I’m an admin for. I’ve been a part of that community for a few years now, so when the chance to help serve it came up, I decided to go for it. It’s been interesting. Most days it’s no work at all, some days it’s an overwhelming amount of work. Continue reading


For the last few years, ‘fake it till you make it’ has been sort of my life mantra.

It’s been applying to everything I do, from working at different positions I didn’t have much experience in, to starting transition and presenting as a gender I hadn’t been raised to present as. Most significantly, I’ve applied it in the context of self-growth.

I wrote a little bit on Sunday about my issues with clinginess, and how difficult my natural intensity makes it to let go of ideas and of people. One of the most helpful strategies at improving in this has been to think of how someone independent and self-sufficient would act and think, and try to emulate it.

What that led to was me missing someone so much it hurt. Maybe I’d force myself to leave the house without my phone, or I’d set periods of time (an hour, or a couple of days) when I wasn’t “allowed” to contact that person. My reasoning was that someone happy being alone wouldn’t feel a constant need to talk to anyone. Sure, they might feel inclined to, but it wouldn’t be any more bad that wanting a slice of pizza; it could make you happier, but going without it wouldn’t be the end of the world. Continue reading